Responses

The following is a post of a bunch of responses to my classmates. I was not sure if I was suppose to post my webct responses to their essays, or my responses to their blogs. So, I just put both.
The first two are responses to the poetry analysis draft.

Message no. 99
Author: Anthony Martinez
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 12:28am
Erna,
I thought your poem sounded very interesting, as well as your essay. The quotes that
you have are great quotes that definitely indicate the seriousness and inhumane mental
capacity one has to develop in order for war. One thing that I was unclear about
however is the thesis of the poem. I assume this is the thesis: In Richard Lovelace’s “To
Lucasta, Going to Wars” the author makes clear the serious tone of his poem by his tone,
the way his sonnet is arranged and simply through the seriousness of war.” If this is the
thesis, I think it is accurate, indeed, but the only thing I would try to add is why does the
author make clear the serious tone of the poem? Basically, I mean what is the point of
making clear ‘the serious tone of his poem’? What’s the author really trying to tell us?
Also, I would suggest altering two other things that are basically just technical aspects. I
would place the author and title of the poem in the first or second sentence of the essay,
just because I know that is traditionally where professors like it (or at least what I’ve
been told). And, also, you have very good quotes, especially from the poem, but I think
you have to introduce them rather than have them begin your paragraph. This could just
be the way it looks after it copy and pasted on the website, but it looked like a couple of
paragraphs began with quotes from the poem without informing the reader why it is
there. That can be unclear and confusing to the reader about your point. Other than
those few things I thought it was an interesting poem and a pretty good essay.

Message no. 97
Author: Anthony Martinez
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 12:01am
Rachel,
I thought this was a very fine essay. I thought you were very specific on the details
about how language and tone were used. I also thought your ideas about how and why
he used the language and tone he did was very intriguing and intelligent. There were a
few things that I was a little confused about, however. The first thing that confused me,
and this might be just because of the way it laid out when it was pasted on the website, I
could not tell where the thesis was. I assumed the thesis was, “In John Milton’s 1656
sonnet On His Deceased Wife, the author makes use of tone, imagery and language to
convey the speaker’s fantasy of his wife returning from death.” The following sentences
in the paragraph each brake down what the individual element does for the poem so I
assume none of those sentences are the thesis. I suppose all of those following
sentences could be a thesis, but if that is the case then I would suggest figuring out a
central link between the respective messages that tone, language, and imagery send and
restructure a thesis that incorporates the link between the three elements, all of which do
something different in the poem. Another thing I was confused about was in the third
paragraph. I was confused because I assumed your thesis was “the author makes use
of tone, imagery, and language to convey the speaker’s fantasy of his wife returning
from death,” but throughout the paragraph that begins with “in the lines five through
eight Milton uses references…” you mention the change in tone, yet do not mention how
that attributes to his fantasy. You also mention the roles of literary allusions and
imagery in the same paragraph (but that could also just be the way it looked after being
copy and pasted) but you do not connect how they attribute to Milton’s fantasy. Now, I
suppose if that is not the thesis then there is no need to connect them to Milton’s
fantasy. But, other than those two things I was a little confused about I thought it was a
pretty good essay.

The one below is a World Fiction Analysis draft response.

Message no. 282
Author: Anthony Martinez
Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 1:32am
Dear Erna,


I enjoyed having a chance to review your essay. It was a thorough take on the
significance of Satrapi’s use of color. I thought this book was interesting as well and the
way it was written along with the illustrations really gave it a personable feeling. I have
a couple of suggestions for your essay I would like to share with you. The first is that
you should introduce your quotes more smoothly to the reader. Your first citation, for
example, mentions what you want to talk about but then the quote begins without an
introduction. Also, you might want to stay away from saying “I” in your essay. Some
professors do not like seeing it and it could harm your grade. What you want to do is
figure out a way to argue a subjective viewpoint (yours) objectively. So basically, use
facts to explain your point without mentioning it’s your point. (I hope that makes
sense.) Another thing I thought was great was the way you allude to the central irony of
the story. You have a book made of black and white along with a split society that is
either for Iran’s regime or against it. But that is just on the surface. Beneath the
surface, there have been various invasions that leave the population diverse and
divided. There have been several foreign leadership forces that have influenced the
leadership of Iran creating various attitudes in different people. Also, a sudden transfer
of power that leaves people divided. Oh yeah, and let's not forget Iraq is also bombing
them while they fight each other. So when you really look at the situation, it is anything
but black and white. Yet, that is how it is presented to us. How do you think that affects
the reader’s impression of the events? Also, what do you suppose is the significance of
this black and white portrayal, knowing these events are being recalled through the mind
of a young girl?


The ones below are responses to peers on their blogs.

Response to Kiese’s blog entitled “Hi!”

AnthonyLM said...
Dear Kiese,I think your post makes great sense. I can't help but say that I pretty much feel the same way. I think you hit it out of the ballpark when you said media technology is often impersonal, addicting, and prevents kids from actually using their brains to learn (I'm paraphrasing). Its obvious that because we live in the 21st century kids should often do presentations that incorporate the use of various computer programs, just so they have a leg up later on in life, but we definitely have to be careful with how much we rely on media technology to instruct them. I really believe that if a teacher has a genuine interest in what they are teaching and actually cares if their students learn it then there doesn't need to be much of a role for media technology in the classroom, unless that's just the preferred method of the instructor, or the lesson just happens to be about an aspect of media technology. However, for someone like me, who probably would not prefer to use various media technologies while teaching, would doing so really make the message I'm teaching any more effective?
August 31, 2009 2:29 AM

Response to Tara’s blog entitled “Ciao.”

AnthonyLM said...
I really enjoy Tara's perspective on this particular matter. I think she does a great job understanding the natural balance that has to exist with how we rely on technology before we are consumed by it. I also learned a little more about how media technology can be used in the classroom, which, I'll be the first to admit, I'm rather ignorant of. But I don't know if I am as enthused as Tara seems to be with the possibilities of how media technology is used to teach our children. Call me old fashioned, but I do not like learning from a powerpoint presentation. I think that it is good in some instances but too much of it is a distraction from the actual message. Bright colors and flashy videos are very cool indeed, but is that really going to help me retain the value of Nathaniel Hawthorne's symbolism as I live life or is it just going to keep me quiet during class? In high school I had a teacher that used videos so much that eventually I just tuned out because I figured we were going to watch the video anyway so why bother with the reading? Also, she became lazy in her lecturing because she let all the videos do the work and that completely took the greater meaning out of the lesson. And that really was a shame because apparently Cannery Row is a good book
August 31, 2009 1:51 AM

Response to Ashley’s blog entitled “Playing Ovid: Creating My Own Myth”

AnthonyLM said...
Ashley,You’re post was quite funny, very refreshing, and just plain cool. I wondered how close you ever came to a hallucinogenic vision. I appreciated your comment that “knowing different mythological stories helps one create another mythological explanation” because I completely agree with that. And so many stories are alike throughout the world; it seems evident that at some point some certain myths must have inspired others. I have a question though about mythic origins. Do you think myths were created because we as human beings want to explain everything or do you think someone somewhere really did think they got a message from a greater presence? I don’t mean let’s get into does God exist or devils or angels, I just mean that when these myths were created do you think it was because someone was out to swindle others or do you think it was because whoever created it really did think they had a celestial vision? Maybe it was a dream or they were hallucinating off some intense lotus or heck, maybe an angel or devil did speak to them, I don’t know. But I always wondered about the origin of these myths. Were they created to purposely shut up other’s curiosity, to purposely control others, or did someone really have an encounter that made them genuinely believe this was the truth?
November 4, 2009 12:58 AM